Yesterday was a mess. My human heart, deceitful as it is, caused me to feel a turmoil of emotions: rage, hatred, insecurity, hurt, abandonment, and betrayal. I was defensive and guilty. I trusted my human emotions more than my God. And it was a big mistake.
Today, I am suffering the consequences. I am lost. I do not know what to do anymore. I have lost trust and confidence in people I used to trust and confide to. I am lost in my emotions, lost in my human self. But I know that the Lord has a reason for this. I know He is waiting for me to come to Him and show me the way. And though my heart is heavy and burdened, I choose to come to Him still. I know I have hurt Him and have denied Him of what was rightfully His (my trust, that is). I know I have disappointed my Lord for being so wrapped up in my own emotions and desires. I know I have sinned. But I still choose to come to Him, despite this nagging thought in my mind telling me I am no longer worthy of His presence for what I have done. I have sinned but the Lord is still waiting to welcome me back in His arms again.