I was hurting and coddling my hurt, because, as I reasoned out, I had the right to feel the pain. My feelings were violated and I was angry. Somebody had committed a wrong against me and I desperately wanted to seek justice on my own.
On the other hand, a small part of me wanted to forgive. However, my stubborn self did not want to. I was reminded of what the Lord commanded: to forgive just as He has forgiven me. But I relented. I could not just let pass the harm done, could I? No, of course not, I told myself. I will teach her a lesson. I will not humble down. Still, I felt uncomfortable and heavy-hearted. I knew for a fact that this is not what my King wants from me.
But, Lord, that was just unfair! That was harsh and I cannot forgive just like that! I know forgiveness is what you want me to do but this is just so difficult! Not now, Lord, not now…maybe later…
These are just some of the protestations that ran through my head. I fell asleep, ranting against my King and His will. Early morning I woke up to a new day. And since it was covenant time with Him, I excitedly opened my Bible for my devotion, hoping that the Lord has something else for me that day, something that has nothing to do with forgiveness.
I sincerely sought Him and asked Him to tell whatever He wanted to tell me.
And then it came like an unexpected gift.
For sure, it has nothing to do with forgiveness. He gave me more than that. It’s all about obeying His commands. And His commands are not burdensome because He has overcome the world; He has conquered the enemy.
What was it that God commanded of me that night? To forgive just as He has forgiven me.
What did I tell Him of this command? It is too hard; I cannot do it.
And what is He telling me now? My child, My commands are not burdensome because those born of God have overcome the world.
Am I born of God? Yes. (John 1:9, John 5:24).
Have I overcome the world? Yes, not by myself but through His Only Son, Jesus Christ.
Then, I can freely forgive. Then, I will forgive. I must forgive—freely, completely, happily, all for my Savior and King.