Self-control…and my utter lack of it

“For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say ‘No’ to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age,

while we wait for the blessed hope—the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ,

who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and

to purify for Himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good.”

~Titus 2:11-14

Last night, I gave in to my self. Again. I’ve been praying for His cleansing and purifying power to give me a pure heart and a pure mind. But my sinful self took over. The enemy knew my weakness and with his scheming tactics, I fell.

It’s quite disappointing, really. It came so unexpectedly. One thing led to another and then another and before I could even stop to think, I was left with a series of destructive thoughts, behaviors, and feelings. And these did not just destroy me but those around me as well. Worst of all, it destroyed my relationship with my King and Savior. I was down and grumpy and I could not clearly see His ways.

I refused to have my nightly and morning prayer-times and devotions, because, I reasoned out, I will deal with God once my issues were over. What Leslie Ludy wrote in her devotional and in her book with her husband is really true. Once I start to sincerely have a desire to build a wall of fortification around Jesus, the enemy works double time. Resorting to a show of deceptions, he will make me confused and down-trodden.

Last night and this morning, the enemy accomplished his purpose. I was defeated. And I lost my appetite to pray and spend time with my King.

But you see, the enemy’s deceptions do not last long. Because the truth of the matter is, what he uses are only deceptions, counterfeits, and lies. The truth will always come out, sooner or later, depending on how gracious I am to let the Holy Spirit work in me.

And every time I allow God’s Spirit to do the real work instead of my weak self doing it, I always feel renewed, transformed, and changed. And you see, even at the time of that enemy attack last night, the Lord is already winning the battle for me, He was just waiting for me to acknowledge Him, take His hand, and accept His Kingship over my self.

If you are also keen in your desire to build your life around your King and have been experiencing constant enemy attacks, I sincerely pray that whoever you are, the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ’s salvation and the blessed hope He brings fill you with His strength, might and valor.

Click here to read and get blessed by Leslie Ludy’s devotional. You might also want to get a copy of their book, Wrestling Prayer.