I find this post the most difficult one to write, so far. Upon logging in, I mistyped my password thrice. My hands and my mind are at a loss to do anything due to the pain, the wounds, the breaking of my heart. But since I made a commitment to thank Him always and to verbalize all of my thanksgiving here in this blog every Tuesday, I chose to write and thank Him today, despite the cloud of brokenness and the storm of deceits.
I thank Him for His sustaining grace. Though I am not okay by human standards, I thank Him still because I know that He is at work within me. I thank Him because right now, I cannot see clearly but He said that everything works for the best of His children. I thank Him for my limited vision now because I know that His vision is better and wider than mine. He knows what he is doing and He is in control. I thank Him for the broken heart because I know, in my brokenness, He will make me whole.
My situation right now is not easy. Well, yes, it is easy to say all of the above but it is quite hard every time I am reminded of the pain, the hurt, and the insults. It would have been easier if the person who made the hurt, the pain and the insults is an unbeliever. But no, unfortunately, the one who insulted me and gave me the pain is a supposed child of God. As a human being, it is easily tempting to coddle my emotions and take vengeance.
But I thank my Savior and King because He said that vengeance is His. I thank Him because He sees and He knows each of our every thought, every word, every deed. He is a just God and I know He will not let wickedness and unrighteousness unpunished. I thank Him because this person has the accountability to Jesus Christ.
You see, there is so much to thank for when in pain. I thank Him because I know that He is also letting me see my mistakes, convicting me with His Spirit. I thank Him because I know that He is teaching me a lesson, molding me into the child that He wants me to be.
I am thankful because Jesus is my Lord, my King, my Savior, my Redeemer, my best friend, my perfect lover, my defender, my strength!